Terms
The site is a joke. The terms are not.
Last updated: [DATE — set when you publish]
Who you are dealing with
This site is operated by ihurtyourfeelings.com, [LEGAL ENTITY NAME AND REGISTRATION NUMBER], at [BUSINESS MAILING ADDRESS — REQUIRED BEFORE LAUNCH]. Using the site means accepting these terms.
The products
Everything sold here is a novelty gift. Descriptions are written for entertainment; the material facts about each item — size, materials, contents and allergens — are set out under “Details” on the product page, and those are literal. Nothing sold here is a medical device, a therapy, or a substitute for professional care.
Orders
Placing an order is an offer to buy. A contract is formed when we send a dispatch confirmation. We may decline or cancel an order — for example if an item is out of stock, if a price was listed in error, or if we cannot ship to the address given — and if we do, you are refunded in full.
Prices and payment
Prices are shown in [CURRENCY] and may change without notice, though changes never affect an order already confirmed. Payment is taken by Shopify at checkout. We do not receive or store card details.
Colours and photography
Screens vary and handmade items vary. Small differences in colour, glaze and finish are normal and are not a fault.
Using the site
Do not attempt to break, overload, scrape or gain unauthorised access to the site, and do not use the contact form to send unlawful, threatening or abusive material.
Intellectual property
The name, wordmark, product names, copy, photography and design on this site belong to ihurtyourfeelings.com. You may not reproduce them commercially without permission.
Liability
[FOR YOUR LAWYER. Nothing here limits liability for death or personal injury caused by negligence, for fraud, or for anything else that cannot lawfully be limited. The rest of this section — the cap on damages and exclusion of indirect loss — must be drafted for your jurisdiction.]
Governing law
These terms are governed by the laws of [STATE / COUNTRY], and disputes are heard in the courts of [VENUE].
Changes
We may update these terms. The version in force is the one published here on the day you order.
Contact
hello@ihurtyourfeelings.com